Why Is This So Hard?
To be honest, at this time last year, if you had told me that I was going to have a kid in 2016, I would not have believed you. Why? Because I was in a place where my career was very important to me. Working 60+ hour weeks, plus constant business travel and wrapping up a MBA can do that to you. When you’re solely focused on survival, you lose perspective really quickly. I was a constant ball of stress, competitive, insecure, did not give my marriage the attention it deserves and was barely maintaining a social life. The fact that I still have a husband and friends is a miracle.
Some very poor decisions on my part, panic attacks and a general feeling of being lost and sad led to a much needed wakeup call. Was that who I wanted to be? Is that how I envisioned my life? The answer was most definitely NO.
The past year has been a humbling one full of healing, learning, perseverance and boundaries. I still have a long way to go but I’ve taken the first steps towards discovering myself and living my best life.
What this does NOT mean:
My career is no longer important to me
My education was a waste of time and money
My identity is now only Mom
What this DOES mean, is that there has to be a better way. A way for me, a driven working female with a family and friends, to pursue a fulfilling and passionate life, career AND be an awesome wife, mom and friend.
That’s what I aim to discover and this is the journal of the adventure.