NOTE: I found this draft sitting unpublished from 2.5 years ago. Not sure why I wrote it and never shared, but it still resonates deeply with me so I’m sharing it with you now. The photos are from our epic Pacific Northwest roadtrip we took for Josh’s 30th birthday.
I’m sitting outside after a lonnnnnng day of conference calls with the intent of finally writing and focusing on my passions. The weather could not be more perfect, I’m feeling genuinely creative, there are no distractions except for a single annoying fly. I have probably swatted him off my feet and legs no less the 30 times since I’ve been sitting outside. Because of the constant distraction, I’m becoming angry and contemplating going back inside even though everything else about this situation is perfect. I focus better outside than sitting inside my messy house. I just want the fly to go away but all my wishing, willpower and anger will not make that happen.
I wonder how many times we let one teeny tiny annoyance completely consume a situation? For me, annoyance quickly turns into frustration then anger which just makes me want to walk away from whatever I’m facing. My question to myself is...how many situations have I given up on because I’m frustrated and angry? Probably an embarrassing amount. I let the voice of that one tiny naysayer influence me. I let a tiny voice of doubt talk me into walking away. What would’ve happened if I had pushed through the annoyance? What would have happened if I had set better boundaries with my emotions and not let something so small cause me to become so angry? Probably something magical.
I want to be known for overcoming. Not for allowing external influences dictate my path. There are times where we need to protect our energy and our emotions and not just stick around to say you did. But there are other times that we need to push through the discomfort, the annoyance, the 30 swats to get the fly off your leg in order to win. To win a breakthrough, to witness magic, to overcome an emotion, to tell that person they don’t have control over you, and that you’re bigger than the voice of doubt.
I wish I had an unlimited supply of patience, but I don’t. If something doesn’t happen immediately, I feel like a failure. Everyone else makes success look so easy, but what we don’t see are the 30+ times they swatted the fly off their leg, the moment they overcame their anger and decided that they were bigger than that. What we also don’t see are the people who have amazing dreams and give up because of a fly.
How do we overcome something so small that is so incessantly distracting in the moment? For me the narrative always goes...this isn’t how this was supposed to go. I wanted to sit outside and write in the perfect weather without distractions. Why is this happening? This fly is ruining this situation. I should go back inside and forget it.
Or I could choose to keep swatting the fly off. I’m not going to let this annoying fucker ruin an otherwise awesome situation. I just have to shift my internal narrative, make some adjustments, and create magic despite of the annoyance because focusing on what makes me feel alive (writing outside in gorgeous weather) is worth fighting andd winning for.